We are not the same person this year as last, nor are those we love.
It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person. (Somerset Maugham)
Please note: I am currently fully booked, and not accepting new clients. You might try Psychology Today or CounsellingBC for therapists accepting new clients.
Couples therapy encompasses work with any two people wishing to begin, enhance, repair, or dismantle an intimate relationship. Sometimes one or both people in a couple do not know whether they wish to work toward increased connection and intimacy, or to break up. I may need to spend some time with each person to explore individual perspectives before proposing a plan of action.
I provide in-person services in my Burnaby office as well as tele-therapy within B.C. I am flexible regarding how to proceed with couples therapy; the following are some possibilities:
This format is suitable for couples in mild to moderate distress, as well as those simply wanting to enhance their relationship. We meet every two weeks for sixteen weeks for a total of eight meetings, and each meeting we focus on one or two chapters of either The New Rules of Marriage (print book) or Fierce Intimacy (audio book). You choose whether you prefer to go with the printed book or the audio book. We devise homework assignments based on the material in the books and discuss those assignments when we meet. This approach can be done in either an individual couple format or a group format.
This format is for couples who are struggling with particularly stressful times (e.g. early career development, young children, illness, etc.) and want skills to manage so that they can hold their relationship together until they have more time and energy to work on relationship enhancement. The initial meeting is 1.5 hours, followed by three to six one hour sessions to discuss specific non-time consuming homework exercises. This program has more focus on education and coaching than on deep therapeutic changes, and can be done in a small group format or individual couple format.
This is the workshop designed by Terry Real that covers all the essentials of Relational Life Therapy. It offers a very powerful introduction to the model, and participants typically come away feeling inspired and motivated. Please use the Couples Workshop link for more information.
This 4 hour format is recommended for couples wanting to get a good grip on where they are going wrong in their relationship. The longer format allows us to time to really understand the kind of ‘dance’ that is problematic within the relationship and to practice ways to make the dance healthier. It can be especially helpful for couples who have developed ‘therapy fatigue’ from a long course of more sporadic therapy. By the end of the half day we will have a plan for how to move forward.
Regular private couples therapy is available in 1, 1.5, and 2 hour sessions. (When possible, initial assessments are 1.5 or 2 hours, after which I am flexible regarding length and frequency of sessions)